Who are my friends? Who are my real friends?

Every morning I have a good 10 minutes walks before i reach office. One of the these trips, my mind swayed while i walked. With no specific reason, a question popped up, "who are my friends?", i probably can name a few... then i grill a bit more, "who are my real friends?"... i halted, and can't give a name.

I knew the problem rooted within me, because i just need to turnaround the question then i knew the answer. Who will i treat them as real friends? i can't be sure to myself. As I get elder and supposedly wiser, I keep things within myself to trade with the feeling of security. Friendship erodes from the center of the stage of my life, replacing them is my family and undisputed me and myself.

I no longer the teenager me, and I'm learning to befriend with loneliness.